Slizka´s wedding part TWO (big reunion)

Hey once again in English (probably for the last time-until now I have always depended on the premise that my foreign friends and exboyfriends will be too lazy to use google translator so I could write pretty much anything, mostly the truth). But you know how popular was the album called My version of Eliskas and Adam´s wedding on FB, so I would also like to add some commentary to the artistic pieces which were captured by talented...not me...everybody else. And you are not allowed to laugh at me that I only now discovered how to play with photos in photoshop. Im just fifteen I swear. Friday: Have no idea how come but Elis and Adam are somehow busy, so its up to me and Eliskas older brother Honza to pick up the international jury for the wedding. I´d like to introduce you to the judges. You already know Jamie, Rick and Shin, but hope you understand they were quite useless so we also needed some other people to help Eliska with getting married: Anne-France: czech-french interpreter who can say "chudák Robin, nikdo ho nemá rád" in Czech and translate it to French and English (btw it means, poor Robin, nobody likes him) Robin: Indonesian (if hes actually from Malaysiya and I screwed it up again, Im sorry), who got secretly married few moths ago without telling OR INVITING us. The photographer John MacDonald: Scottish dances teacher. No relative of MacDonalds, the Americans. No hamburgers. Christin: Deutschlander. Well, someone has to eat all those sweets and cakes, right? Marta: Polish mum. The one who could be evil, but can´t because she just doesnt know how... And I hate her, because her legs look so sexy in the pictures. Roman and Ksenia: Hm...maybe all the Russians arent that bad. But they still havent apologized for Ovechkin... Anna: Well someone had to be the sexy party girl. Polish Anna, Roman, Ksenia and John are friends of Adam from Stirling Uni. So, on Friday morning, we woke up at 8(!) and I packed my stuff = nothing + 2L plastic bottle of beer. We cought a train to Prague, but looked like no one would help me with beer. Please dont think I´m an alcoholic, but you have no idea how hard it is to be from Beer Nation and sufer with Sapporo for 800Yen, Tennents for 3,20Pound and Pabst for 2 Dolars...so when I´m back home I cut loose of the lead a bit! Yeah, so of course no one hepled... Robin was the first one to meet at Vaclavske square, so we all crawled and sneaked behind Robins back and surprised him. Shin had seen him on Christmas when he went to Tokyo for few days, but me, Jamie and Rick couldnt believe he was really there. Honestly who would believe that it was truth when we were saying SEE U rather than GOOD BYE in Tokyo to each other! So Robin boasted with his super cool camera and 50 packets of cigarettes in camera bag and we sat off to old town. I played the role of a guide professionaly and told Jamie (no one else cared) about Charles the 4th and Hungry wall. Then Rick decided to buy some souvenirs for his family and girlfriend, but unfortunately he picked the biggest shits they have had in shops and me with J couldn´t but laugh at him so much. We also spent lovely 15 seconds staring at famous Old town clocks and when the amazing show finished, everybody turned their heads to me and asked:"Is that it?!?" At 1p.m. we were supposed to meet Honza´s group consisting of Anne-France, Christin, John, Roman and Ksenia who were late, so my group fondnd a nice pizzeria near the metro station and ate some snack. By that time I drank almost 1,5 L of my beer, cos the only one helping was Robin and I placed the bottle under the table. Thats how I lost it :(( Finally Honza appeared on escalator and we all met again. Back to sightseeing. Bridge and a castle. This time it was even possible to cross Charles bridge, we still managed to lose 3 people tho, so I was running around trying to find Honza, Shin and Anne-France. After AH! and OH! at the castle and cathedral, we bullied Shin a little bit and I chatted to John, Adam´s schoolmate from Stirling, who is going to Australia next month. Jealous... Later that day I brought my group back to my hometown where my mum was waiting with a car and was excited to see Shin again and drove us to our countryhouse where we grabbed all stuff for wedding, and where we all turned ourselfes from dirty smelly gypsys into stunning young ladies and gentlemen in clean clothes. Another roadtrip to Velké Meziříčí, the road was closed so we got lost, but not that much. We arrived one hour late and we noticed it because all international guests and Eliska´s family were already sitting by the table staring at us with hungry eyes. Happy greetings with Martička, who arrived by herself. Then we ate homemade guláš and after that Eliska stood up and delivered an amazing speech. The speech was about the next day´s programe. She disptributed printed sheets with a schedule writen minute by minute, told us not to lose it or she will kill us (me, Jamie and Honza in the back of the table laughed), it took her 10 minutes to explain each point and told us not to lose it, because its very VERY important (me, Jamie and Honza weren´t listening cos we were looking for misspellings and laughed at them), then Eliska said if anyone is late tomorrow or doesn´t know what to do, she would kill him and she told us not to lose it(me, Jamie and Honza were rolling on the table laughing). Then she almost cried with happiness we are there and we clapped hands. Guláš was D.E.licious! Eliska didnt allow us to party that night so we would be fresh next day and we were brought to rented high school dormintory. Sometimes Eliska can be even more scarier than me. Saturday: Girls room was busy since seven a.m. Stockings on (pleaseeee Mr. Harris! Just lip my stockings!), cool dresses, hairdryers and heaps of make up. For those who were terorized by mine and Jamies "Mr. Kazu sent me. He sends premium fantasy", please watch this video, maybe u will understand what we were the whole week laughing at! We would also like to apologize to all of you haha We all tried hard to stick to Eliska´s rules (or we were just scared of her?) and met up in front of the dorm right on time. I proudly drove my mates to Eliskas house and there were mountains of sweets, fruits and stuff for breakfast again. So we all got fat again and because Eliska was at haidresser, we were siting outside in the garden, met Adam and Eliskas local friends and played game called INTUITION. While waiting, Jamie went to the bathroom, so I sat her paper programe on fire. Marta and Christine looked shocked and were probably worried about Jamies life if Eliska finds out. In few moments Eliska and Adam in wedding dress (of course Adam wasnt wearing the same white gown as Eliska)appeared and stole all the attention for themself, which was terrible, cos everybody took 124 photos of them and only 2 photos of me! Lets skip this sad part and move to the castle where we became witnesses of Eliska changing from " Miss OWL" into "Mrs. PUSHED OUT". It was breathtaking, eventho the lady in pink dress who was reading that lame (no offence) poem, was ehm...lame. But that didnt matter as the half of the guests didnt understand Czech anyway... And when Adam and Eliska said YES, I started to tear up. Yes. And again when I had to express my congratulations to the couple. I didn´t want to make any drama so I just murmured something like "you stupid cow, I love you" and cried even more. And went twice for a hug. (from now on I wont write Eliska and Adam, cos its too long and will adress them as Vytlacilovi which is their surname) Then Vytlacilovi were taking kinky wedding pictures in castle gardens, so all the guests were standing around getting druk, because bride´s and groom´s classmates were in charge of pouring shots od vodka and plum alcohol and they were doing their job quite well. Even Shin was happy. Next on programme was the most important thing- the food. Lunch, desert, cake, snack, dinner, second dinner and third dinner. Bride and groom did some crazy czech customs too. For Jakob especially: we really do break a plate and clean it up here in Czechia!!! Or eat a soup when tied together. It was good fun, me and Marta made up perfect plan about getting a ship and sailing to west to undying lands...which Robin and Rick didn´t seem to understand and Eliska´s dad showed us some wine tasting tricks just in case he left too early and we didnt know how to drink wine at 2 in the morning :D Many and many people came that afternoon, we danced, ate, gossiped and ate. Ricardo also pulled out his guitar and played Naive and Wonderwall for the 100th time for us. Later 4 scottish proffesional dancers appeard and showed the crowds how to dance like crazy Scots in kilts. The four profis were John, Eliska, Adam and me wearing short dress and no bra under. When you dance like a Scot...you have to jump a lot...:/ I was so impressed with John´s kilt that I have no idea what others were doing but I suddenly found myself sitting at 3 a.m. with him in the corner telling him boys are stupid and I liked him. Also I remember saying I didnt want everyone to think we made out just because drunk. So we waited for 5 minutes until we made out and despite the fact John is going to CangarooLand for a year, he made me his girlfriend for 14 days. Thats actually the reason I havent been writing lately, we were too busy here in Inverness with going to beaches or mountains. So sorry I can´t write a proper report on that night. At least I still remember how me and Honza were trying to get Robin to bed, which was quite hard, cos he was very bossy and telling Honza and me to go to bed and he wanted to jump out of the window So glad other boys cooperated well next morning considering how crazy their night was. Sunday: Eliska seemd happy after her first night with Adam haha. Eating at hers again, then me, Jamie, Anne-France, Christin and Marta laying in the garden sunbathing. Then water fight which I had nothing to do with as allways. Shin regreted he joined the fight later cos he smelled like disgusting old fish poo. Anne-France found somewhere a Czech languange book for 6 years old and I started to teach her our lovely HCHKRDTN and žščřcjďťň and how to say Rick is stupid and old. And she was doing great! Local outdoor swimming pool with extremely cold vater. We pretended to play some volleyball but the only ones really playing were Adam and Christine, the rest of us were just trying not to be the biggest loser. In the evening we were invited to an outdoor bbq and had the best fun ever: No, really we had! Anne-France together with Jamie can be so loud and annoying. They wouldn´t stop gigling not even for a minute, so I had to join them and I still don´t know how someone can laugh so much at "ITS RAINING MEN". It just doesn´t me any sense O_o We went to bed quite late and woke up few times as people were leaving at different times early morning. So it was very sad to say goodbye to everyone again. Eliska, Adam, Marta, Rick, Anne-France, Robin, Christin, Shin, Honza, Anna, Jamie, John, Roman and Ksenia- it was such a great weekend. Its like a miracle we met so soon after Tokyo and Im happy I became a part of a bunch like this one. See u around the world again and again, nothing will stop us right? We also missed all the friends who couldnt make it to Czech, next time, ehm? Me and Anne-France would also like to say hi to Jakob´s swedish friend Gustav haha. P.S. Im sorry if you read this and dislike it, at least you can see Im the same evil even when writing. Oh and I allways say almost truth :P This is probably my last post in English at least until the next wedding. P.S. Don´t care about misspellings again, I´m too exhausted. Panda I

Slizka´s wedding part ONE (cottage)

Čeléndž!

Panda, Jamie, Shin, Čarodka, Smíšek and Rick in Nová ves lol
Oi. I wouldnt be really surprised if all of you just gave my blog deep six, cos im terrible. But as just got drunk of 4 beers and excited of a day spent with my sis and our mate Aleš here in Inverness, I will describe you a touching story about one famous wedding in Velké Meziříčí.
Yes, today Im writing in English so my "Tokio bunch" can read this crap im gonna write about them:P Otherwise google translator please. Oh and sorry, not sure how funny I can be when not using my mother tongue, so just try to imagine some jokes while reading.
Well, first I should explain that I needed to find some pipe (trubku), who would substitute me here in Scotland when I go back to Czech for a vacation (that sounds funny). I needed someone awesome, cool and clever...Someone like me. Or at least from my family. I called for Dingo.

Dingo
The bad thing about Inverness is that the town is so damn north and far from civilization that jurney to Manchester takes like 9 hours and theres only one bus a day going there. Now the maths problem: the bus leaves at 7a.m. The planes takes off at 2p.m. Can I make it to the airport? NO.
Ask my sister how she loved the night at Manchester airport haha.

Luckily Im cheeky enough to bother my friends all around Europe and I made it to Leeds (again), where Jamie Lamie picked me at the bus station (this time really) and let me stay over for a night. As her plane was leaving to Czech from Leeds in the morning, we stayed at home and made up very alternative programme. We searched thru her flatmates PS3 games and squeakingly we decided for the most girly game in the whole world- SILENT HILL.
We´ve both seen the movie, so we quite knew what we were going into, but still, when the Pyramid Head guy killed the other guy with 3 meters long knive just in front of us, we were still considering the possiblity of stopping the game and watching Winnie the Pooh. (ehm, the only cool game I´d ever played before was Tomb Raider 2 and I was scared to shit even of the dogs and tigers). But we didnt stop. With eyes widely open, I repeated hundred times: J, you are sooo brave!! while Jamie, in panic, was killing one monster after another. Few moments later we were laughing at pretty everything including mental, bloody, undead and hungry dog at the cemetry.
My dreams that night were lovely.

In the morning Jay was gone, so I woke up and headed back to Manchester. Oh actually, the one who woke me up was a Pakistan guy from the previous day who told me I was beautiful and he would do my hair in his hair studio next time, so I gave him my number ehm...Gosh, this is so long and I havent even made it to Czech...
Ok so at 5p.m., I got hugged by my Brazilian pal Rick after a year and a half. Oh and Eliska who could hardly miss a moment like this.

Ricardo, Eliska, Jamie, Jitka
It was unbelieveable that he came all the way from Japan just to see me and Eliska (hm, I guess Eliska more). And its really handy to have a sister who studies in Prague and rents an amazing apartment on Vinohradská.
After traditional fried cheese dinner which I made (weird I know), me, Eliska, Rick, Lamie, Eliskas brother Honza (who knows all these people from his visit in Japan) my sisters roommie Jitka, my bff Hermélie and Eva set off to a pub. Svijany beer. All of us except of lame Rick, who manly drinks lame vodka-redbull and lame Eliska who drinks wine, pfff, ordered Svijany. 70p for a beer, people! What a paradise! The beer was obviously fantastic, but unfortunately no one took a video of me and Lamie at 3 in the morning dancing in the rain and running around Prague without shoes and splashing water from paddles at our "sober" friends...

The next morning we did some small sightseeiing around Prague cetre and it was VERY painful for me, cos they are just so slow and tried to teach me how to walk slowly. After two hours of walking slowly, I was quite exhausted and happily sat on a train to my hometown, Pardubice. That time, my only company was J and Rick, who were now for a change superexcited about the fact we were traveling in coupes like in Harry Potter and tried to pretend we were in Hogwarts express.
Then Jamie took some creepy pics of me like a ghost and in Pardubice we jumped in my dads car which took us to his house for a home made pizza and football in the garden. Me and Jamie against Rick and my 5 years old brother who understands like...no English but became Ricks best friend. I wish I could say that boys won:P
Also did a small trip to a castle near us and my dad enlighted the dark history of communism to those two crypto-fascist bourgeois craps (kryptofašistickým buržoazním škvárům). In the evening I showed them my two cousins in a pub, but it was rather one man show of the older one, who is just so hard describeable...Well, theyre both very VERY individal...And me, J and Rick all drank one beer, cos they just couldnt understand we drink beer instead of water here...

Anyway, next day we packed our stuff and had to get from my village to the train station which is 50 minutes briskly walking. It was more complicated with those two. Not that I wasnt pleased that they liked czech countryside, but especially Rick was so happy to see some nature after 2 years in Tokyo, that he had to take a picture of every! stupid duck, tree and a rock we were passing. So 50 minutes turned into two hours and I still felt like I would have to choke them to death any minute. Thexy on the other side couldnt understand why my blood pressure is so high:))
Later we did some compulsory sightseeing around my fabulous metropolis, had a lunch with dad in Pardubice, met my friend Smíšek, did some small shopping for food (bread, onion, classic) and big shopping for alcohol, picked my bff Čarodka in Hradec and settled down at cosy cottage at the bank of a lovely lake in sothern west Bohemia. Just to let u know, the "lake" has 1 meter depth which consists of 50 cm of mud and 50 cm of water. Well, you can still swim...somehow.

Now small test time: who doesnt know who Eliska is?! Right. Eliska and her fiance Adam (who I went to Skye Island last year with) made it to the cottage too and we showed foreigners how we rock in Czech with bonfire, sausages (no marshmallow please!), beer and rum for 50p in our favourite pub. My English speaking friends had a tinny problem with understanding why we call Čarodka when her name is Lucie, which is Lucy, but everyone calls Lucie Lucka and we particularly call har Čarodka, which means Witch. The same with Smíšek, but we just asked them to call him Merry. Or Ondra. Or Andrew...

Oh how I love it there! So many parties we had in that cottage. And annual spring girl-party. So many hours on that smallfoot bridge! Nope, cant even describe how happy I am to have the cottage. Ehm...and its owner Čarodka of course
Dunno how many best friends I have, but this one is numero uno

Ive allways had a dream of buying a disco ball. Dont ask me. I dont know. I hate disco, but disco ball just sounds so cool, u know? So guess what? Eliska passed me a box and when I opened it...Waaaaa. Have no idea what Im gonna use it for, but hell yeah! I am a proud owner of a disco ball!


(TODAY IM GONNA FINNISH THIS POST!!!)
The only sad thing was that Shin´s flight was canceled due to the fog...(interesting that he didnt noticed any mist around the Paris airport and all the other planes were allowed to take off). But u know. Someone with such a big had must be pretty smart, so I navigated him from Prague to Týniště nad Orlicí which is like the biggest shithole in the middle of nowhere:D To mine and all others surprise, he was there the next day! Couldnt believe my eyes, really. And not only he made it all the way there, he also made friends of some random metal-music-fans who gave him heaps of wine. Friendly people.

Eliska and Adam were already gone, but our other friend Jana came on bike for a visit, so we all had another party night. This time we spent day outside, laying in the grass, cahtting or boating. It would be very peaceful afternoon if someone didnt jump into the water from the boat and didt start throwing the black smelly mud into other peoples faces. Wait...it was actually me. Then me, Jamie, Shin, and Smíšek stroke a cruel battle so I couldnt brush my smelly hair for next two days as the mud was all over my head. And there is no shower.

This picture is here just because i think my back looks really sexy here!
Then Ricardo played The Kooks and Oasis for us hundred times and we set off to pub again. This time earlier. We dont remember much, tho still dont get how its possible that no one was hungover next day, considering how much we had drunk! And mixed everything. Shin and Rick, probably happy to see aech other again, got crazy and kept bringing shots of Zelená and Vodka every 10 minutes. Blah.

We didnt demolish Čarodka´s cottage (Jamie and Rick and Shin called it Villa, losers :D) as much as we wanted, but at least were able to leave quite early and spend the rest of the day at beach of a proper lake with more than 1m of water.
In the evening, J and Rick were exhausted of doing nothing and refused to join me and Shin on the way to town for a drink and stayed at home. So I said to myself"ok, Shins here, maybe its not a greatest idea to take him to the most filthy pub in town (my favourite one of course)" and took him to a "posh" bar in a centre. We met two of my friends Petra and Marian (which is not shocking at all, as they practically live there:D) and had some nice chat with them.

Friday was a day D for us. Me, Jay, Rick and Shinmaster were supposed to catch a train back to Prague to catch up with the rest of Eliskas international guests and I was pretty stoked to see Anne-France, Robin, Christine and all the others again and move over to Velké Meziříčí for Eliska and Adams DAY D. But right now, I fucking managed to write all this in English and feel like my head is gonna explode, so I have to cut it here. Now its up to u guys if I finnish this in czech or English, so dont let me down and give me some feedback or Ill kill ya all.
U know me.

P.S. special thanks to all three guys who commented last time, I listened to all you recomended music and liked all three albums! I swear! Keep listening to all of them!
P.S.S I dont care about misspellings right now :P Its Sometime around midnight for Gods sake!